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What to do When the Cat Hates Your New Spouse


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Whether it’s a new boyfriend, girlfriend or a new spouse, life in that rose-covered cottage can quickly turn into Nightmare on Elm Street if the cat appears to hate the love of your life. Beginning a new relationship is stressful enough without the cat coming into the room to hiss or growl. There are some people who will simply throw their hands up in the air and rehome the cat in order to please the new loved one. Then there are others who seriously consider ditching the new boyfriend or girlfriend based on the cat’s negative feedback. There’s a much better option than either one of the two mentioned above. Here are a few tips to get you started on the road toward having your cat see the good side of Mr. or Ms. Right:

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Your Cat Isn’t Jealous

This may come as a shock to you but your cat isn’t reacting this way because she’s upset at the fact that you’re spending more time with someone else. It’s actually confusion and fear that have her being less than hospitable to your spouse. Your cat is a territorial creature of habit and it can be very unsettling and stressful for her to suddenly have someone unfamiliar spending time in the house. In the case of a new boyfriend or girlfriend, people often make the mistake of trying too hard to get kitty to like the new person. The cat parent almost forces the two together. The cat parent may pick up the cat and physically place her in the new person’s arms. The cat hasn’t had any time to do a scent investigation or figure out if this person is friend or foe. Add to that, the fact that this person is probably spending time in more areas of the house that the cat considers more of her personal territory. For example, if the cat is used to sleeping in bed with you and then suddenly she’s banished from the bedroom, it can be very unsettling and confusing.


  1. i just got rid of the man that my cat didnt like! we are both happier now! 🙂

  2. Great article with many great tips to ease your cat’s adjustment to a newcomer in the home. I used to think it was jealousy when my cat, Sylvester, would do the things he did to men I was dating. (chewing their shoelaces to shreds, jumping on the back of the couch with a toy in his mouth & shaking it so hard it hit the guy in the head, clawing at his legs, or getting on the counter so he could get a few claws in at a higher level). When I met my husband and had him over to my house, Sylvester really changed how he dealt with him, allowing him to pet him,to eventually greeting him everytime he came over. He would even sit between us on the couch, not in a mean protective way, but wanting to be included. When my husband asked me to marry him, of course I said “yes” and Sylvester even gave his blessing!

  3. and when your significant other is willing to do these things you know they have a strong foot hold in the ‘keep’ category. If they aren’t willing to work with a beloved pet then that is something to take in to consideration when choosing a life partner!

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